I once had this friend named Bella. (I guess I could say have, as I assume we're still friends since there has been no large rupture that I can recall. And Facebook tells me we're still friends. Oops, just checked and apparently not. Whoops! I guess had is correct after all).
I once had this friend named Bella who I will not name since I guess we're no longer friends and really the name doesn't matter anyway. Just a superfluous detail (unless of course you happen to have been friends with us in high school in which case the name is crucial). Anyway, this aforementioned friend used to be a springboard diver with me in high school. Like me, she suffered from poor vision. I considered it to be a hazard when diving but not her. In fact, she rarely wore contacts and never glasses. When asked why, she simply replied," People look better without them."
After I about died laughing, I thought about her remark. It's actually kind of true. Sometimes it's much better to gaze at a fuzzy visage and imagine a nice, pretty, happy person. And if reality(corrected vision) were to set in, you may likely realize that the person you are staring at is in fact staring back at you with a "What's your problem buddy" hostile face. Not the prettiest (and let's be honest, safest) sight for poor eyes. On the other hand, a philosophy like hers could also get you into bigger trouble. Equivalent of waking up next to someone in the morning who you clearly remembered being a hot hunk the night before only to have reality slap you in the face. Figuratively of course. Because I only wake up next up to my handsome husband so I don't have that problem. But someone, somewhere may. So this is for you, my (perhaps new friend who I could name in future posts if we were to remain facebook friends). Honestly, there has to be a better life than getting ready in the morning only to be late to work because I forgot where I put my glasses and can't see well enough to find them. And trust me, this does happen.
I and my friend are not the only ones to suffer from poor vision. Listen to poor Helena here:
"Famous people come up to me, but I don't know who
they are because my sight is so bad. It's always at the pool of the Four
Seasons in Beverly Hills when I don't have my lenses in and my glasses
are in my room."
Dear, dear Helena. I too have this problem. I am constantly inundated with the rich and the famous (*luxurious yawn*) but luckily for me, have not been able to see them...and thus have escaped the embarrassing spectacle of drooling all over them. But now, all that is about to change.
I have just taken my life and my problem of poor vision into my (surgeons) expert hands and had LASIK. Yes, LASIK! And may I say, I am completely awesome for doing so. I, being reasonably prepared, came to my appointment already doped up on Valium just in case the office didn't offer me any. Which they didn't, so foresight is 20-20 vision. It took immediate effect, making it difficult to even hold my head up straight but I'm sure no one noticed. While in the waiting room, I even got to watch one man's live surgery via TV which oddly enough didn't make me nervous. I think it was the fact that I had already put thousands of dollars into our FSA for this very purpose and if I backed out now, where in the world was I going to use that money instead? Not for some other surgery, I could tell you that.
And then my time came. And it was a piece of cake. Really! Even I was surprised at how fast it went. I chalk up my lack of nerves not to the Valium (I'm sure it helped some) but mostly to the fact that I am awesome. Which I was, because even getting my blood pressure taken causes me to feel queasy, not to mention getting shots/giving blood. I told my mother-in-law that I was awesome and she just laughed (of course, I was still under the effects of the medicine but meant every word). So there you have it!
I can see! Of course, my husband leaned over at church and whispered to me that I was the cutest little crack-head he'd ever seen (the whites of my eyes are red with bruises from the procedure). And I can't wear makeup for a week, letting the world see me at my worst. But I couldn't care less. At least now I can see the shocked look on someone's face when they see the condition I'm in. And I just smile, serene in the knowledge that I now have 20-15 vision. Oh, and that I'm awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment